RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize