I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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