I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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