You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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