You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
