I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
