There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
