that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
