yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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