he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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