operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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