I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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