I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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