Have you finally orgasmed yet?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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