how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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