so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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