new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
