Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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