dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
