If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
