Sponge bath it is.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
