batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
