Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
