that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
