C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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