Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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