Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
