I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
