oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
