my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
