Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
