Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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