I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
