I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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