i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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