Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
