pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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