ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
