New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
