hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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