I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
