Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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