Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
