I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
