I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
