dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
