Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
