the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
