im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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