Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
MIDGETS
????
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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