Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
