I got chris browned last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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