The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
