I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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