I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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