Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
