Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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