I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Randomize
