These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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