maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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