In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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