The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
