Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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