Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's always time for handjobs
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
