We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
